do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
