someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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