Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
