So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
