it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
