i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
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