they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
