The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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