Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
