This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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