it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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