i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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