I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
it hurts more in the daytime
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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