Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
