Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
