She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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