I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
