i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
