Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
