Porn is love you can see.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
