Kareoke will never be a sober sport
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
