What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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