he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
