If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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