who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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