with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
