I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
