I don't usually arrange sex via text message
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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