U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
