Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
