I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Congratulations! We have a period
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
