Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
