I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
