Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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