He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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