He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
