Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
