If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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