I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
