When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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