Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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