the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
