there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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