Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
