Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it's like heaven, but drunker
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
