Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
