How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
