She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Someone shattered a urinal.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
