I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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