I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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