just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Holy sore nipples Batman
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
